Why Do Pronouns Matter?

Using personal pronouns in Miami, FL have become a topic of interest in society. And, for good reason. Some words can allow us to feel seen, while other words can be invalidating. The latter can be all too familiar for transgender and nonbinary people when addressed by pronouns they don’t use. Most likely, you’re here because you want to learn how to avoid unintentionally disrespecting someone by using the wrong pronouns.

Things to consider when using personal pronouns in Miami, FL

Let’s start by getting into the basics of pronouns. In the English language, personal pronouns are gendered, which are used to describe a person when we are talking about them. They are words used as a substitute for a person’s name. Examples of pronouns include she, he, and they. Instead of saying, “Sam is selling roses, so I bought roses from Sam”, we would say, “Sam is selling roses, so I bought roses from her”.

Common mistakes when using the correct pronouns

Using pronouns often come with a level of assumption. We often make assumptions about the gender of people based on their appearance, voice or name. So, we often assume someone’s pronouns. This association is not always correct. In fact, it can send a harmful message that we must look a certain way in order to show others the gender we are or aren’t. According to MyPronouns.org, “it can be offensive or harassing to guess at someone’s pronouns and refer to them using those pronouns if that is not how that person wants to be known”. So, we can see that using someone’s personal pronouns in Miami, FL is an important sign of respect.

Sharing your personal pronouns in Miami, FL

A great way to avoid assumptions is to share your own personal pronouns and then invite people to share their pronouns. Here is an example: “My name is Sam and I go by she and her pronouns. What about you?” Sharing your personal pronouns in Miami, FL is similar to sharing your name. People aren’t going to guess your name. And, they don’t need to guess your pronouns either. Sharing your personal pronouns with people can be really helpful. It can convey that you are open to respecting people’s identities. This exchange can help someone build trust with you regarding their gender and preferred pronouns. Do keep in mind, that not everyone will want or feel comfortable sharing their pronouns.

Asking about personal pronouns

The first time you ask a person what their personal pronouns in Miami, FL are can feel uncomfortable. You might be afraid that you will offend the person. But, saying the wrong pronouns can be more offensive. This is called misgendering. A study reported in the Journal of Self and Identity explains that misgendering for transgender individuals is associated with feeling highly stigmatized, experiencing lower self-esteem, and a reduced sense of strength in their identity. Basically, misgendering can cause low self-esteem and mental health issues for trans people. You can help so many people with feeling seen by just sharing and asking about pronouns.

Recovering from a mistake with pronouns

Mistakes can happen. It’s good to acknowledge when you have used incorrect pronouns to refer to a person. There are a few ways you can correct your mistake. One way is to simply apologize and move on. And, being intentional to use their personal pronouns in the future. Another way is to correct your self as soon as you make the mistake by using their personal pronouns and also move on. Don’t give long apologies. That can burden the person who is experiencing their own feelings of being misgendered with feeling that they need to make you feel better about your mistake. Also, practice on your own by saying the pronouns of the person to help you get better at using them. Using someone’s personal pronouns can take some practice.

Being respectful when using someone’s pronouns

Investing in the time to learn and adapt to people’s pronouns allows you to expand your viewpoint to be more inclusive of trans and nonbinary people. Not recognizing or rejecting how others identify themselves can be isolating and at times traumatic for the individual. Referring to people by the pronouns they choose for themselves is a way to respect them and their human dignity.

Begin Gender Therapy in Miami, FL (or other services!)

I hope this was helpful to you! As a trained and experienced counselor, I can help you through online therapy in Florida or from my Miami based counseling clinic. In addition to gender therapy, I offer anxiety therapy, depression counseling, counseling for parents, teen counseling, HRT letters, and relationship counseling for one. When you’re ready to start working with Better Life Therapy, follow these steps:

1. Contact Better Life Therapy and let us know how we can help.

2. Meet with your new therapist

3. Receive the support and services you need to build a Better Life.

About the author, Roxana Tefel, LMHC

I specialize in helping transgender and nonbinary teens and adults build a thriving life. People have the ability to overcome challenges. I know that providing space for people to embrace the challenges that are a part of being human helps build the foundation for healing and growth. Facing challenges head-on rather than avoiding life is a part of the healing process.